I read this on craigslist and this guy's views mirror my own. Let me just reiterate that I did not write this piece. (To the real author ... email me! Let's swap stories.)
5 Tips for preventing a broken heart:
If you absolutely HAVE to fall in love (and let's face it, most of us fall into that category; as with sex, it's unrealistic to advocate Abstinence--in this case, Emotional Abstinence. The body craves an orgasm the same way the heart craves love), go ahead and do it, BUT make sure you also do the following, for your protection:
1. Always view love as dessert, NOT as the main course. Dessert is something you want, not necessarily something you need, as opposed to the main course which you do need for natural sustenance. If you view love (romantic love, that is) the same way, then it won't hurt as much when it disappoints. You can live without something you WANT, but can't live without something you need, and in this life, the only thing you really need is oxygen. So remember: Oxygen = main course; Love = dessert.
2. Never trust the other person completely. Give them no more than 80% of your trust. Deny it if you want to, but Love is an investment. You hear it all the time--someone tearfully saying "I invested emotionally in him/her!" As with any investment, only an idiot invests 100% of their savings. People, like stocks, are unpredictable, unreliable, and unsteady. You've got to always leave at least 20% of your heart in your Savings Account. Never let Them have that part of you. This way, when they fall in love with someone else or give in to their (let's face it) natural desire to fuck someone else, you won't be left homeless. You'll still have that 20% of your heart (still intact, thank you) that you smartly never relinquished in the first place.
3. Related to the point above, adopt a Hope-For-The-Best-But-Expect-The-Worst stance when it comes to the person you fall in love with. Always be prepared for the fact that he/she might stray. The street version of this is: If You Brace Yourself For The Slap It Won't Hurt As Much. And that's what you have to do if you're going to hop on this Falling In Love bandwagon. You've got to always be bracing yourself for the slap. Now don't misunderstand--this doesn't mean you can't relax and show them that you love them and also accept love/affection from them. You can still be warm and open but in the back of your head--or heart, in this case--you must be constantly bracing yourself for the slap. That way, when it comes it'll still hurt but it'll only sting; it won't SEVER, TEAR, DESTROY. If the slap never comes, then hey, you lucked out.
4. Never, ever, ever, EVER believe that there's such a thing as the Perfect Man or the Perfect Woman--someone who's physically gorgeous, smart, funny, humble, financially well off, wild in bed, likes the same movies/music you like. The more likely scenario is that you'll find someone who's attractive and sexy but can't tell a joke if a gun were pointed to his/her head, or someone who's gorgeous and funny but only needs sex once a week, or someone who's cute, funny, sexually omnivorous but loves Country Music while you love only Heavy Metal, or someone who's draw-joppingly hot, humble, rich but owns a Rush Limbaugh coffee mug while you sleep on sheets emblazoned with Al Gore's picture. So be it. The Perfect Man/Woman lurks only in habitats such as Hallmark card covers, cheesy 1980's love songs played on Lite FM, romance novels, and titillating Playboy articles.
5. Accept the fact that you'll always be Lonely. No matter what you do, or who you're with, you will always be Lonely. Why? Because Loneliness is one of life's main ingredients. There's a reason you come into this world alone (and don't give me that shit about twins--even they come through the hole one at at a time) and leave it, alone. It's the Cosmos trying to give you a clue. It's also no accident that Life, Love, and Loneliness all begin with the same letter. So never get into a relationship with someone just to eliminate loneliness because Loneliness ain't going no where, baby. No one can be with another person constantly. Even when the other person is PHYSICALLY there with you, he/she is not always necessarily There with you. That's why you've got to always enjoy being there with yourself and, for that matter, for yourself. You're the only person you can truly count on (to the point of betting money) to be there with you.
Now, if you apply the tips above, I guarantee that you'll never get a broken heart again. Notice I didn't say you'll never get a bruised heart, or a sprained heart, or a scratched heart. As long as you're rubbing shoulders with that wild beast called love, you're going to get injuries, but at least now, you'll have some protective gear.
---A guy who is Cynicism's latest captive
Chatboard (0)